The interview suit has gone to the back of the wardrobe and let me tell you how happy I feel this evening … happy enough to shelve the marking, to finish a whole bottle on a school night, PLUS chocolate, and TWO Nespressos!!!
So yes, this is a bit of an inebriated post … and right now I can’t even say ‘inebriated’ – it doesn’t take much these days – half a bottle will do it, but today I can, because I have worth … its official … someone else believes my contribution is worth paying for, and that makes me feel WELL GOOD !
In short I have been offered two jobs – but the best one came through today … I will be a ‘Bank physiotherapist assistant’, but there’s also an offer of care assistant work. There’s the rub … I accepted one before being offered the other, but physiotherapy is the direction I want to go, and after consulting with some of my most trusted friends (sorry if you didn’t come into this category, but I’m sure you’ll understand) I decided it was ok to be a tad naughty by interviewing for another job after accepting the first. Even my dad said that was sort of ok, and I value his judgement the most, so I sort of did. I haven’t made the phone call yet …
I cannot stop smiling – is my self esteem so fickle that it is rocketed so much by my success, or is this normal? I haven’t applied for many jobs, and in teaching, there often isn’t a lot of competition, so its difficult to judge how much you are valued. This matters a lot to me, and I am really looking forward to learning a new job, a whole load of new skills, and terms, and protocols … from scratch … I love learning, so the combination of being able to learn from scratch coupled with the fact of someone rating me enough to be prepared to pay me to be part of their work is just so exciting and exhilarating, and yes, I will be posting me in uniform on Facebook at some point.
I seem to have somehow applied to re-enlist into the army reserves as well – back to the medics … I am a few steps further on towards that now, and wondering quite what my motivation is about there. Is it that I just like being a bit butch, strutting around in polished boots with a rifle, or is it that it’ll enrich my experience, by training as a medic in preparation for applying for a physiotherapy course, or do I just want to earn more money? I think part of the attraction is to be trained from scratch again … its been such a long time since I was an army medic that I’d be starting as a private again, and that appeals, because its another chance to learn, to get it right, and to make sure I’m ticking all the boxes.
As I’m writing this, I realise that in my current fragile, alcohol-affected state I’m exposing my frailties somewhat … yes, I do want to get everything right, so yes, I am a perfectionist, and yes, it probably is a need for approval, and yes it probably is left over from some childhood hang up. And that’s just fine, I’m ok with that … especially after a job offer, and wine and chocolate. Well I’m fine with that anyway, quite frankly.
But will I be perfect? Of course not, but it’ll be good to try for a bit, and as a newbie, it’ll be a while before I’ll realise all the things I should be doing and aren’t, so I might even think I am getting it right – ignorance has its benefits.
In the meantime, I’ve been so distracted by job applications, interviews, study, learning, reading that running has been left well and truly by the wayside, and is down to one Parkrun a week … so now I can leave my nightly trawls through ‘Indeed’ and writing one supporting statement after another, I might even take myself out for a little jaunt next week sometime … after all, there’ll be an Army fitness test at some point!
And finally – my lovely wife … egged me on … was the edgy, risk taker when I wanted to play it safe and pay the bills. Coupledom is great, isn’t it, when one compliments the other, and gives just that little prod that is needed to take a risk and try something else? Thank you so much, Carol, for giving me that little push …
Time to stop, I’m getting all mushy now after my two and a half glasses of wine … 🙂